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We want her to be a complete whore in bed, with high expectations of submissiveness. Or better yet, we expect her to have eyes only for us, while ours wonder left and right.

We have the most absurd and unjustified rationalization when it comes to what we want in a woman. Now I know and I’m FULLY aware that women’s expectations of men is even more over the top then ours. And one day I’ll write a kick ass article about it. But today, I’m focusing on men and our unfounded expectations towards women.

We all aspire to have the lady and the freak all in one but somehow always get stuck with one without the other.

When I was in college, I was going out with a girl called Laura. She was a shy redhead, with cute petite features. A good wholesome girl that I was proud to bring home to mom. I was crazy about her. So what went wrong? I tirelessly tried to convert her from the introverted shy girl she was into the wild girl I wanted her to be.

I was so brash and arrogant, my thought pattern was that any woman can be turned into what I wanted them to be. The ensuing changes from my efforts was a metamorphical disaster that completely unbalanced the delicate emotional creature I fell for in the first place. It ended with her going to therapy and reverting back to her default mode, the one that she was created to be.

It was an eye opening experience that made me realize you can’t turn a woman into what you want.

Some testosterone filled men are convinced they’re god’s gift to women. They selfishly believe that they’re perfect or close to it. Expecting a reflection of their self-perceived perfection in their partner.

They go out on the hunt, thinking they have the power to shape a woman into a new and improved version. Men have a disoriented sense of what should be expected from a woman. The realistic expectations are few but they’re rational and true.


A. Doesn’t try and change you

It’s realistic to expect that a real woman will not try and change you. You just have to accept her for who she is and obviously, she must accept you for who you are.

B. Respects you

The most basic and fundamental part of igniting the flame. Without respect, it’s a downhill road through pointless degrading terrain.

C. Is emotionally mature

She’s approachable, non-judgemental and in control of her emotions. She’s responsible and strives for personal growth.

D. Independent

She doesn’t rely on men financially or emotionally. She understands that love is not about filling her needs.

What’s unrealistic is to expect her to become what she isn’t. Often times, I see women do whatever a man tells her to do by fear of losing him. The man knows this and is fully exploiting her to his advantage. It’s a form of emotional slavery and exploitation provoked by profound male insecurity. A perpetually sadistic way of treating women out of anger from having a crappy mother or a broken heart.

Men and women equally shoulder the responsibility of not taking advantage of each other

The heterosexual way of thinking is that we can’t live with each other but we more importantly can’t live without each other. We have to learn to coexist and seduce by letting everybody be who they are. Only cowards try to manipulate.

So before you go out number snatching, you have to grasp that if you’re looking to change women, you’re the one that needs to change. Finding a potential suitor is about naturally meeting women until you find the one that reflects who you are. People evolve through their own will to change, not yours to make them change.

The only person you have control over is you

So the best thing to do before going out there to wheel is mastering your control over the insecure child within and objectively project healthy narcissism with no expectations. And don’t despair if it seems like the majority of women have high expectations. You’re not seeking a relationship with all of them, you’re out there to meet the ONE. The one that’s meant for you. It will happen, not because you forced the hand of nature but because in the end, true love always prevails.